{"id":1427,"date":"2020-11-09T03:18:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-09T03:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/im-campus.com\/?p=1427"},"modified":"2021-11-01T03:25:37","modified_gmt":"2021-11-01T03:25:37","slug":"mediacja-rodzinna-i-dystans-spoleczny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wpbackup.im-campus.com\/pl\/mediacja-rodzinna-i-dystans-spoleczny\/","title":{"rendered":"Mediacja rodzinna i dystans spo\u0142eczny"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ten kr\u00f3tki post zosta\u0142 pierwotnie opublikowany w j\u0119zyku w\u0142oskim na stronie <\/em>www.mediazioneinfamiglia.<\/em><\/a>com. Zebrano w nim kilka my\u015bli, kt\u00f3re opracowa\u0142em ze szczeg\u00f3lnym uwzgl\u0119dnieniem mediacji rodzinnych, ale oczywi\u015bcie ka\u017cdy mediator mo\u017ce si\u0119 do nich odnie\u015b\u0107, bior\u0105c pod uwag\u0119 specyfik\u0119 swojej pracy i now\u0105 wsp\u00f3ln\u0105 p\u0142aszczyzn\u0119 ka\u017cdej mediacji: pandemi\u0119.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To, czego najbardziej brakowa\u0142o mi w tych Covid19 czasach, to fizyczny kontakt z innymi lud\u017ami.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nawet latem, kiedy te \u015bcis\u0142e \u015brodki bezpiecze\u0144stwa zacz\u0119\u0142y si\u0119 nieco rozlu\u017ania\u0107 i mogli\u015bmy chodzi\u0107 po otwartych przestrzeniach bez konieczno\u015bci noszenia maski, nadal trzeba by\u0142o zachowa\u0107 spo\u0142eczny dystans. To oznacza\u0142o brak poca\u0142unk\u00f3w i u\u015bcisk\u00f3w, nawet u\u015bcisk\u00f3w d\u0142oni czy prostych gest\u00f3w wsp\u00f3\u0142czucia, takich jak lekkie dotkni\u0119cie drugiej osoby czubkiem \u0142okcia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nazywaj\u0105 to \"dystansem spo\u0142ecznym\", ale uwa\u017cam, \u017ce jest to raczej eufemistyczne okre\u015blenie i nie s\u0105dz\u0119, aby oddawa\u0142o ono sprawiedliwo\u015b\u0107 rzeczywistym implikacjom i konsekwencjom tych dzia\u0142a\u0144.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oczywi\u015bcie, s\u0105 kultury, w kt\u00f3rych trzymanie si\u0119 z daleka od innych ludzi lub nie dotykanie si\u0119 w og\u00f3le jest norm\u0105. Na przyk\u0142ad w Indiach ludzie witaj\u0105 si\u0119, lekko pochylaj\u0105c si\u0119 w stron\u0119 drugiej osoby i zbli\u017caj\u0105c do siebie d\u0142onie, kt\u00f3re dotykaj\u0105 si\u0119 przed czo\u0142em. U nas te gesty kojarz\u0105 si\u0119 z aktem modlitwy. Tam jednak nazywa si\u0119 to namaskar mudra. Albo inaczej: czy wyobra\u017casz sobie Japo\u0144czyka witaj\u0105cego ci\u0119 poklepaniem po plecach? Brzmi to niedorzecznie, prawda? Tak, bo \u017caden Japo\u0144czyk nawet nie marzy\u0142by o zrobieniu czego\u015b takiego. Od tych dalekowschodnich kultur dziel\u0105 nas nie tylko kilometry, ale tak\u017ce tysi\u0105ce lat tradycji. Te tradycje rozwija\u0142y si\u0119 autonomicznie i wydaj\u0105 si\u0119 bardzo odleg\u0142e od nas. Dzieje si\u0119 tak dlatego, \u017ce, og\u00f3lnie rzecz bior\u0105c, dla nas, ludzi Zachodu, a szczeg\u00f3lnie dla ludzi basenu Morza \u015ar\u00f3dziemnego i W\u0142och\u00f3w, kontakt fizyczny jest kluczowym elementem naszych interakcji spo\u0142ecznych<\/strong>. I ja osobi\u015bcie bardzo za tym t\u0119skni\u0119.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gdy by\u0142em zagubiony w tych raczej pocieszaj\u0105cych my\u015blach, natkn\u0105\u0142em si\u0119 na co\u015b do\u015b\u0107 ciekawego, a jednocze\u015bnie bardzo powa\u017cnego: nagroda IgNobla<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IgNobel to satyryczne wyr\u00f3\u017cnienie, kt\u00f3re jest przydzielane bardzo powa\u017cnym badaniom na tematy, kt\u00f3re tylko z pozoru s\u0105 komiczne, ale mog\u0105 dostarczy\u0107 \u015bwietnego pokarmu do my\u015blenia. Tegoroczny Ig Nobel w dziedzinie ekonomii zosta\u0142 przyznany grupie badawczej sk\u0142adaj\u0105cej si\u0119 z dziewi\u0119ciu naukowc\u00f3w z r\u00f3\u017cnych uniwersytet\u00f3w za\u00a0badanie zale\u017cno\u015bci mi\u0119dzy bogactwem narodu a u\u017cywaniem francuskiego poca\u0142unku<\/strong>. (\u017ar\u00f3d\u0142o: https:\/\/rdcu.be\/b9G5Y<\/a><\/em>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

W badaniu wzi\u0119\u0142o udzia\u0142 3.109 os\u00f3b z 13 r\u00f3\u017cnych kraj\u00f3w na 6 kontynentach. Rozm\u00f3wcom zadano seri\u0119 pyta\u0144, kt\u00f3re bada\u0142y, jak wa\u017cne by\u0142o dla nich ca\u0142owanie kogo\u015b w usta we wczesnych fazach ich romantycznych zwi\u0105zk\u00f3w oraz w p\u00f3\u017aniejszych i bardziej skonsolidowanych. Pytano r\u00f3wnie\u017c o to, jak wa\u017cne by\u0142y dla nich poca\u0142unki i jak cz\u0119sto ca\u0142owali, przytulali, pie\u015bcili i kochali si\u0119 ze swoimi partnerami, a tak\u017ce o inne, bardziej szczeg\u00f3\u0142owe pytania maj\u0105ce na celu zmierzenie, jak przyjemne by\u0142o dla nich samo do\u015bwiadczenie ca\u0142owania. Badanie to wykaza\u0142o, \u017ce istnieje zwi\u0105zek mi\u0119dzy tym, jak cz\u0119sto ludzie zaanga\u017cowani w romantyczny zwi\u0105zek ca\u0142uj\u0105 si\u0119, a nier\u00f3wno\u015bci\u0105 dochod\u00f3w narodu (wska\u017anik Giniego).<\/strong>. I ta zale\u017cno\u015b\u0107 jest taka, \u017ce ludzie w biedniejszych krajach maj\u0105 tendencj\u0119 do wi\u0119kszego ca\u0142owania, bo maj\u0105 wi\u0119cej czasu na dbanie o swoje zwi\u0105zki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Samuela Bolgan, w\u0142oska psycholog z Wenecji, jest jedn\u0105 z badaczek, kt\u00f3re wzi\u0119\u0142y udzia\u0142 w tym badaniu. Podczas wywiadu telewizyjnego dr Bolgan zasugerowa\u0142a, \u017ce ludzie \u017cyj\u0105cy w bogatszych krajach s\u0105 bardziej sk\u0142onni do realizowania osobistych interes\u00f3w i satysfakcji, ni\u017c do dbania o swoj\u0105 afektywno\u015b\u0107 i sfer\u0119 empatyczn\u0105. Dr Bolgan wspomnia\u0142a r\u00f3wnie\u017c o nowym polu bada\u0144 skupiaj\u0105cych si\u0119 na poca\u0142unkach i zwi\u0105zkach, i stwierdzi\u0142a, \u017ceakt ca\u0142owania ma nieco przeciwb\u00f3lowy wp\u0142yw na konflikty pary.<\/strong>.' To prawda. Szkoda, \u017ce jedynym \"poca\u0142unkiem\", na jaki wielu z nas mo\u017ce liczy\u0107 w tej chwili, jest Bacio (czyli poca\u0142unek) ze s\u0142ynnej fabryki czekolady Perugina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

W ostatnich miesi\u0105cach widzieli\u015bmy rodziny, kt\u00f3re zosta\u0142y zmuszone do dzielenia tej samej przestrzeni przez d\u0142ugi okres czasu, lub cz\u0142onk\u00f3w rodziny, kt\u00f3rzy zostali zmuszeni do d\u0142ugiej separacji wbrew ich woli. Widzieli\u015bmy dzieci, kt\u00f3re by\u0142y \u015bwiadkami tego, jak ich rodzice nieustannie si\u0119 nienawidz\u0105, nie mog\u0105c znale\u017a\u0107 schronienia ani spokoju w \u015brodowisku innym ni\u017c dom rodzinny. I dzieci, kt\u00f3re straci\u0142y kontakt z rodzicem, z kt\u00f3rym normalnie nie mieszkaj\u0105. Albo nawet dzieci, kt\u00f3re po sp\u0119dzeniu weekendu lub nocy z jednym z rodzic\u00f3w, wr\u00f3ci\u0142y do rodzica, z kt\u00f3rym mieszkaj\u0105, tylko po to, by dowiedzie\u0107 si\u0119, \u017ce sp\u0119dza\u0142y czas z mam\u0105 lub tat\u0105, u kt\u00f3rych test na obecno\u015b\u0107 koronawirusa by\u0142 pozytywny. A wszystko to dzia\u0142o si\u0119 w kontek\u015bcie, w kt\u00f3rym kontakt fizyczny by\u0142 prawie ca\u0142kowicie nieobecny, w przestrzeniach o ograniczonej wielko\u015bci, stale odka\u017canych i kontrolowanych.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jak zatem znale\u017a\u0107 now\u0105 organizacj\u0119 \u017cycia rodzinnego i my\u015ble\u0107 o przysz\u0142o\u015bci, skoro mamy do czynienia z tak niepewnymi kontekstami? Jak mo\u017cna rozwi\u0105zywa\u0107 konflikty, gdy jedyn\u0105 wymian\u0105 twarz\u0105 w twarz, na jak\u0105 pozwalamy, jest wymiana przez kamer\u0119?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

W \u015bwietle tego i w czasach, gdy nawi\u0105zywanie fizycznych kontakt\u00f3w mi\u0119dzy lud\u017ami jest niemal niemo\u017cliwe z powodu spo\u0142ecznego dystansu, nagroda przyznana badaniu, kt\u00f3re skupia si\u0119 na poca\u0142unku - kt\u00f3ry jest prawdopodobnie najbardziej ikonicznym gestem mi\u0142o\u015bci - nie wzi\u0119\u0142a si\u0119 znik\u0105d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

W\u015br\u00f3d opublikowanych ostatnio bada\u0144 natrafi\u0142em na takie, kt\u00f3re wyja\u015bnia, jak\u00a0warunki narzucone przez wirusa s\u0105 przeznaczone do zmiany krajobrazu romantycznych zwi\u0105zk\u00f3w<\/strong>\u00a0(krajobraz godowy) do punktu, w kt\u00f3rym sama natywno\u015b\u0107 zostanie dotkni\u0119ta. Artyku\u0142 ten nosi tytu\u0142 The pandemic exposes human nature: 10 ewolucyjnych spostrze\u017ce\u0144, i zosta\u0142 opublikowany przez Proceedings of the National Academic of Sciences of the United States of America (W celu uzyskania dalszych informacji: https:\/\/www.pnas.org\/content\/early\/2020\/10\/21\/2009787117<\/a><\/em>\u00a0).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teraz mo\u017ce by\u0107 \u0142atwo znale\u017a\u0107 komfort w pocieszaj\u0105cych my\u015bli, jak pi\u0119kne lub jak wa\u017cne jest akt ca\u0142owania, zw\u0142aszcza w czasach fizycznej izolacji. Ale co jest naprawd\u0119 przydatne i wa\u017cne dla mnie jako mediatora rodzinnego?<\/strong> My\u015bl\u0119, \u017ce jest to coraz wa\u017cniejsze aby utrzyma\u0107 linie komunikacyjne otwarte<\/strong>, rozmawia\u0107 ze sob\u0105,utrzymuj ma\u0142\u0105 iskr\u0119 przy \u017cyciu<\/em>' (jak powiedzia\u0142 mi jeden z moich klient\u00f3w), aby m\u00f3c utrzyma\u0107 tak trudn\u0105 tera\u017aniejszo\u015b\u0107 w spos\u00f3b przemy\u015blany i rozs\u0105dny. I jest to szczeg\u00f3lnie prawdziwe w \u015bwietle wszystkich konkretnych mo\u017cliwo\u015bci, kt\u00f3re teraz bledn\u0105 z powodu zamkni\u0119cia, lub ekonomicznej niepewno\u015bci przysz\u0142o\u015bci, kt\u00f3ra wydaje si\u0119 przera\u017caj\u0105ca i trudno o niej my\u015ble\u0107. Utrzymywanie otwartej komunikacji mo\u017ce wydawa\u0107 si\u0119 ograniczonym i nieco umartwiaj\u0105cym celem, ale tak nie jest. A poniewa\u017c moja praca dotyczy rzeczywisto\u015bci naszego codziennego \u017cycia, bacznie si\u0119 jej przygl\u0105dam. Dostosowuj\u0119 swoj\u0105 prac\u0119 do tego, co jest i co mo\u017cna zrobi\u0107, zaczynaj\u0105c od interes\u00f3w ludzi, kt\u00f3rym pomagam. Czy to tylko po to, aby utrzyma\u0107 t\u0119 ma\u0142\u0105 iskierk\u0119 mo\u017cliwo\u015bci przy \u017cyciu w ciemnych czasach.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To, czego najbardziej brakowa\u0142o mi w tych Covid19 czasach, to fizyczny kontakt z innymi lud\u017ami.
\nNawet latem, kiedy te \u015bcis\u0142e \u015brodki bezpiecze\u0144stwa zacz\u0119\u0142y si\u0119 nieco rozlu\u017ania\u0107 i mogli\u015bmy chodzi\u0107 po otwartych przestrzeniach bez konieczno\u015bci noszenia maski, nadal trzeba by\u0142o zachowa\u0107 spo\u0142eczny dystans. To oznacza\u0142o brak poca\u0142unk\u00f3w i u\u015bcisk\u00f3w, nawet u\u015bcisk\u00f3w d\u0142oni czy prostych gest\u00f3w wsp\u00f3\u0142czucia, takich jak lekkie dotkni\u0119cie drugiej osoby czubkiem \u0142okcia.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1428,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[25],"class_list":["post-1427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-maria-francesca-francese"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFamily Mediation and Social Distancing - International Mediation Campus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wpbackup.im-campus.com\/pl\/mediacja-rodzinna-i-dystans-spoleczny\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pl_PL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Family Mediation and Social Distancing - International Mediation Campus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What I have been missing the most during these Covid19 times is physical contact with other people. 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